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niecyisms | Creative Learning Center Studios
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The Process of Understanding the Good in the 5 Stages of Grief

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was the one of the first persons to be credited with identifying the five stages of grief in her widely renowned book, "On Death and Dying". The stages of grieving are identified as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Grief is an individual process and not everyone experiences each stage or proceeds through the stages in order.
Our feelings of grief are what we feel and experience on the inside. Mourning is the outward expression of what we are experiencing and share with others interacting with us. It is not possible for anyone to ever be able see your grief or judge you by you are grieving. You are the only person that will ever be capable of experiencing your grief.
Denial - "This just can't be true." "This isn't really happening to me." These are a part of the grieving process that address our feelings of shock and possibly confusion with the tragic situation at hand. Gradually, through accepting the reality of the loss, you are beginning the healing process of grieving. Feelings of acceptance will becoming stronger as the feelings of denial weaken.
Anger - "This isn't fair!" "How can such a horrible thing have happened to such a beautiful person?" Beneath the turmoil and torment of anger are feelings of pain. When we lose something or someone, we lose a connection. The unwanted feelings of having been deserted and left abandoned transition into anger. The emotion of anger is used a connecting link, being angry creates a connection to anyone or anything for any reason. Anger is also an intense passion, which is synonymous with love.
Bargaining - "What if I just stayed a moment longer?" "Why couldn't there have been just a little more time?" Feeling guilty about having survived a significant loss becomes a pleading and crying barter for a chance to undo the pain, hurt and heartache that survivors are left to endure. There is no limit to what a hurting, grieving person will sacrifice in order to save a loved one, change the circumstances or even take away their pain.
Bargaining - "What if I just stayed a moment longer?" "Why couldn't there have been just a little more time?" Feeling guilty about having survived a significant loss becomes a pleading and crying barter for a chance to undo the pain, hurt and heartache that survivors are left to endure. There is no limit to what a hurting, grieving person will sacrifice in order to save a loved one, change the circumstances or even take away their pain.
Depression - "There will never be anyone like him." "How can I go on without her?" After suffering the devastating separation of a loss, it is an acceptable time to deal with feelings of overwhelming sadness, emptiness and withdrawal. The depressed state following a loss is a normal and healthy stage of the grieving process. Understanding the validity of your emotions and addressing your concerns is essential to your coping and acceptance of your loss, as well as your mental well-being.
My heart and spirit are heavy with grief as I am mourning the loss if a once in a lifetime friend. While we are physically apart after a friendship that spans over 30 years of our lives, a legacy of love remains. We were friends before we knew the meaning of friendship. Honestly, I can't even determine the stage of grief that I can call my own. Sharing these words are part of my healing process and will hopefully offer comfort to someone else. I dedicate this post to my best friend.
Visit the National Institute of Health for more information on the stages of grief and mourning the loss of a loved one.
In Loving Memory of Donna Eloise Allen Martinez
You Are Forever in My Heart
Please feel free to express personal tributes in memoriam of lost loved ones.
acceptance
anger
bargaining
bereavement
death
denial
depression
dying
grief
grieving
loss
mourn
NIH
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